I am drowning....

I am drowning....
I don't know what to do anymore. I am drowning.
My debt is taking all of my paycheck. No bank wants to help me because I have paymentremarks. My boss would if she wasn't scared of Corona, which I understand.
I need a new car, because my won't last this winter.
I have daily arguements with my mom and at 33 I would love to have my own place. I can't have friends over. I don't have a lovelife (well not sure what I call what I have really since my poi is still living with his gf), and my relationship with my mom is on the brinking point.
I am a certified diet counselor, but because of my debt (which half is for my school), I won't get clients, because I don't have my papers. Because I won't get them until the debt is payed.
I haven't self-harmed for 10 years but lately I have been thinking about it. It's getting harder and harder to stay away picking up that razor.
I hate the world and my life right now. I know I am loved but I feel like a massive failure on an epic scale.
I am also ashamed. That I didn't do better when I was younger.
I am sorry, but I don't have anywhere else to share this...
E-mail me when people leave their comments –

You need to be a member of Witches Moon to add comments!

Join Witches Moon


  • Oh gees Regine. Life is so hard right now. Maybe you can try something different. To put your thinking into something new like a new job that doesn't take your certificate just so you can get by until this all blows over. Soo many people are going through it. Planetary influences. Just go the other way for right now and it "will" pass. If you have another job then you can afford a car to get you through the winter and I think it's time to change some laws as far as college is concerned!

  • Okay, first let's start with the debt.  Yes, you could file for bankruptcy, but that costs money too.  Make a list of each creditor and what you owe.  Then personally go to each one(face to face is always better)and make a new deal with them.  Tell them the truth, you just can't keep making the payments the way they are.  I have found if you are honest with them, they will find a solution.  Tears help more then being strong and decisive.  In other words, don't walk in and demand what you want, tell the truth and work out payments.

         What exactly is wrong with your car? Could you perhaps fix a few things, cheaper things to get it to last until taxes?  Do you have friends that could do the repairs for less than a mechanic that you could pay less, or work out in trade, like a home cooked meal, or cleaning their home?  Think outside the box.

    As for arguing with mom, at this point it's normal, especailly with covid makeing us all loony tunes.  I have trouble with my husband.  I've gotten so I just don't answer or respond, buecause if you respond, it makes the whole argument last longer.  Having a book by your side to read helps with this, even if you're just staring at it and not reading.  lol  Take a walk outside, get some fresh air, putter about and keep busy. 

         See if you can work extra hours at work, put the money aside that you earn, for payments, or for the car.  Odds are you could be an uncertified diet counselor and charge less.  advertise online on fb and twitter.  do the business in fb, it's cheaper.  (free is good)if people know the certification is coming(it will be in your description)then you are doing nothing wrong.  If you have a cipier at home or at work you could even design business cards to say this, and carry them with you always.  You'd be surprised how you can steer a convo to this topic, with prqctice.

    I hope some of this helps.

    the video is here because this is what relaxes me, african meditation music.  I thought it might help.

    • Thank you for the comment <3.

      I do not want to go and file for bank-ruptcy because then I won't be able to buy a house in the future. I have already gone to all the creditors, and I have paymentplans with all of them, but my bank won't give me a loan to get all of them under one, so it will be easy for me to maintain it, since just paying for one thing would be better than paying for 8 different.

      My car is leaking oil both from the transmission and the motor, and it can't be fixed. In Norway we have something called an EU-report, and a car needs to pass this, in order to be allowed to be on the road. My car won't make that in February and it is too costly for me to fix.

      Yeah, this whole year has been shit when it comes to communication with everyone I feel.

      In regards to work, I take as much extra as I can, but it's slow during winter time. Hopefully I can get some clients when it comes to nutrition, so anything I get off that, I will put in paying my debt down.

      I don't know why, but this whole week has been shit, but I haven't been able to sleep tonight and for some reason a voice said to me that things would be okay. I just need to breathe and relax. I have also thought of asking my boss if I can get my vacationmoney in January to pay off the creditor that takes the biggest chunk of my paycheck. Then I can be able to put a little extra into the other ones, making me able to pay them down faster.

      At least it's a start.

    • Okay, over here we have a solution(car)that you can pour into the gas tank and it stops/plugs the leaks, or at least slows it down.  Just go into a store and act confused.  lol  See if they have something. 

      Bankruptcy gets rid of all your bad credit and for about 6-9 months you have, well, no credit is better than poor credit.  My husband purchased a car this way, then you work on your credit.  Get one card and use it once a month on something small, and pay it right away.

          NOW, look for an agency that would put all your bills in one payment. Debt cosolidation is what you want. See if you can find the help that way, and if they add on a bit for their fee, so be it.  Save records of on-time payments for proof for later on wehn yu want a house.  YOu'd be surprised what people will accept if they want to make a sale.


    • Linda your amazing, your advice is wonderful, peaceful and almost relaing to read.

    • Owner

      Good Advice Linda

This reply was deleted.