I don't know what to do anymore. I am drowning.
My debt is taking all of my paycheck. No bank wants to help me because I have paymentremarks. My boss would if she wasn't scared of Corona, which I understand.
I need a new car, because my won't last this winter.
I have daily arguements with my mom and at 33 I would love to have my own place. I can't have friends over. I don't have a lovelife (well not sure what I call what I have really since my poi is still living with his gf), and my relationship with my mom is on the brinking point.
I am a certified diet counselor, but because of my debt (which half is for my school), I won't get clients, because I don't have my papers. Because I won't get them until the debt is payed.
I haven't self-harmed for 10 years but lately I have been thinking about it. It's getting harder and harder to stay away picking up that razor.
I hate the world and my life right now. I know I am loved but I feel like a massive failure on an epic scale.
I am also ashamed. That I didn't do better when I was younger.
I am sorry, but I don't have anywhere else to share this...